


The Underneath

by msmorie



Series: The Underneath [1]
Category: Jrock, X JAPAN
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmorie/pseuds/msmorie
Summary: Sugizo is new in town and finds a very exclusive bar called The Underneath.





	1. Jade

“You’re new here, aren’t you?”

 

Sugizo turned and came face to face with a man with bright pink hair leaning across the bar at him.

“Uh, yeah,” Sugizo stammered. “Just moved here a couple of weeks ago.”

The pink-haired man leaned back and his face softened into a more friendly smile. “And how do you like it so far?”

“It’s a bit of a change,” Sugizo admitted.

“Here for work or play?”

“Both.”

“hide!” A bearded man with long, curly hair poked his head out from the back room, snapping his fingers. “The boss wants you.”

“Uh-oh,” hide grinned at Sugizo. “I’m in trouble now. But before I go, can I fix you up with a drink? What’s your poison?”

“I wouldn’t mind something sweet.”

hide glanced back at the rows and rows of gleaming bottles behind him. “How about a real classic? One of our guys here makes a beautiful Rusty Nail. I’ll send him over.”

Without waiting for a reply, hide disappeared into the back room leaving Sugizo to turn around in his barstool and have a look around. The bar was spacious and finely furnished, and smelled faintly of cigars and leather and jasmine. Most of the patrons were in twos and threes and looked like they came here regularly.

 

“Sugizo, is it?”

He was startled by the sound of his own name being spoken by an unfamiliar voice. The voice belonged to a tall, slender man with long, dark hair, smartly dressed in a black blazer with the cuffs neatly folded up. He smiled politely and slid a drink across the bar to him.

“I'm sorry… have we met?” Sugizo asked.

The tall man reached across the bar and pointed down. “It’s on your guitar case.”

“Oh.” Sugizo hid his embarrassment behind his drink and he took sip, slowly savouring the flavours. “This is really good. The balance is perfect - a lot of people make it far too sweet.”

“Thank you.” The other man looked quietly pleased and extended a hand. “I’m Heath. hide—the one with the pink hair—tells me you’re new in town.”

“It’s a big change going from Kanagawa to Ginza,” Sugizo said, taking his hand firmly. “You’re not from around here either, are you?”

“You can tell?”

“You have a slight accent.” Sugizo tilted his head a little. “Osaka?”

“Close. Amagasaki.” Heath leaned against the bar counter. “So, Sugizo from Kanagawa. What brings you and your guitar to Ginza?”

“I’ve just joined a band,” Sugizo said, patting his guitar case.

“Nice. Anyone I might know?”

“Just a local band called Lunacy. We had a rehearsal session earlier this evening. They’re a really good bunch of guys.”

Heath nodded. “I’ve seen them play a couple of times. I like their sound.” He watched Sugizo finish off his drink. “Another one?”

“Sure.”

 

Sugizo watched Heath measure out the Scotch and Drambuie with expert hands, pouring it into a fresh glass over ice. Off to one side, another well-dressed man with light brown hair sat down at the grand piano and began to play.

“This place is really nice,” Sugizo commented.

“How did you come to find it, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“An old colleague told me about this place. Said The Underneath is one of the oldest and best bars in the area.” Sugizo smiled wryly. “Took me a hell of a time find the bloody door, though. Whose idea was it to put the entrance in the basement of a record store?”

Heath chuckled at that. “That’s the boss’ idea. He likes to keep it very exclusive. It used to be an antique store. Then when they built the 5-star hotel above us five, six years ago, it became a record store.”

Sugizo looked around the room. “What about him? He doesn’t look very exclusive.”

“Hmm?” Heath followed his gaze to where a blond man with tattoos sat close to the door, arms folded across his chest, his face shadowed by the cowboy hat on his head. “That’s Taiji. He’s our muscle.”

“You mean that guy works here?”

“Almost as long as this bar’s been running,” Heath said.

“Slacking off on the job again, are we?” A shorter man with dark glasses wandered up and put a hand on Heath’s shoulder.

“I’m working on getting you a new regular, Toshi,” Heath grinned.

“That’s my boy. Turn on that charm,” Toshi teased.

 

Heath and Toshi eventually drifted to attend to other customers who filtered in and out throughout the night, leaving Sugizo to slowly nurse his drink and enjoy the delicate piano music and the atmosphere. After a while he fished a notebook and a pen out of his bag and began lazily sketching.

 

“That’s really good.”

Sugizo turned to see Heath peering over his shoulder. “Thanks. It’s just a bit of a hobby. When I left Kanagawa, I thought I’d start a sort of diary. Some people write, some people take photos… I sketch.”

“Do you mind…?” Heath set a tray of empty glasses on the counter.

Sugizo showed him the sketch he’d made of the bar at The Underneath.

Heath leaned forward and examined the drawing, impressed. “Is that me?” He pointed at a figure in the drawing, standing behind the bar.

“Yeah.” Sugizo seemed a little embarrassed. He closed the notebook and tucked it back into his bag. “Listen, I’d better get going. Thanks for the drinks.” He placed a few creased notes on the counter.

“You’re very welcome,” Heath said, watching as he hoisted his bag and guitar case. “Will we see you back here?”

“You might,” Sugizo said. “It’s a nice place. I really like it.”

“You should let me know when the band’s playing next,” Heath said. “I’d be interested to see.”

“I will.”

 

* * *

 

Sugizo returned to The Underneath nearly every night for the next few weeks and struck up a friendship with almost all of the staff, quickly becoming one of their regulars. The pink-haired hide was a wildcard with a wacky sense of humour. Toshi was outgoing and friendly. Pata was easy-going once you got past his gruff exterior. Heath was the quietest one of them all but Sugizo felt the most at ease around him and found that they got along well.

The only ones he hadn’t gotten to know were Taiji, who seemed very aloof and rarely interacted with anyone besides Pata, and the pianist they called Yoshiki. Yoshiki just seemed to materialise sometime during the night to play the piano for an hour, sometimes two, and then he’d disappear without speaking to anyone.

 

“What’s up with those two, anyway?” Sugizo asked Pata one night.

Pata just scoffed. “Taiji’s just Taiji. He doesn’t like anyone. That’s why he’s so good at dealing with the riff-raff.”

“And Yoshiki?”

“Yoshiki’s our princess,” Heath said with a small smirk.

“The princess is _very_ mysterious,” Pata added dryly. “He usually doesn’t like talking to most people.”

“Here, try this. I call it a White Poem.” Heath handed Sugizo a glass. “How’s the drawing coming along?”

“Mind if I have a look?” Pata asked.

Sugizo sipped at his drink and shrugged, pushing the notebook across the counter.

Pata carefully leafed through the pages. There were drawings of the streets of Ginza with people in their long winter coats and scarves, and one of the Tokyo skyline with the Skytree in the distance, but most of the drawings were of the bar and her people. Pata especially liked the one of Taiji in his usual pose, in his usual seat, glowering at the world from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat.

 

Long after Sugizo had left, hide and Pata sidled up to Heath in the back room and hide wore a mischievous smile. “That Sugizo’s pretty cute, isn’t he?”

“What?” said Heath absentmindedly.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Pata said. “You two have been flirting with each other since the very first time he sat at this bar.”

Heath waved a hand at them dismissively. “Don’t be stupid. I’m just being friendly to a regular customer.”

“You sure are,” said hide. “I like the way you lean over his sketchbook with your hair falling seductively over his shoulder.”

“You’re imagining things,” Heath said and quickly changed the subject. “Has anyone seen Yoshiki?”

“He went home early to be coddled by his nurses.” Pata handed Heath a piece of paper. “He said he’s got one for you tonight, though.”

Heath unfolded it and glanced over the name and photo before handing it back. “What’s the story?”

“Does it matter?” Pata lit the edge of the paper with his Zippo and dropped it into a nearby ashtray. hide used the smouldering flame to light a cigarette.

“Not really.” Heath crossed his long legs and pulled a butterfly knife out of his back pocket, carefully testing the blade with a fingertip. “Not knowing just makes it simpler.”


	2. Phoenix

Toshi heard them arguing before he even saw them.

 

“I’m telling you, there’s something up with him.”

“He’s fine, he’s just a customer.”

“I think you’re being paranoid.”

“The guy has got portraits of every single one of us!”

“That’s called a ‘hobby’. Normal people have them.”

“Can everyone just calm d—”

The sound of glass breaking.

“Fucking hell, Taiji!”

 

Toshi entered the room with both hands raised. “Whoa. Hey. What’s this all about?”

Pata was crouched on the floor, carefully picking up pieces of broken glass and shaking his head.

“Taiji’s all pissed off about one of our regulars,” hide explained. “Thinks he’s casing the joint or something.”

“Who? That Sugizo guy?”

“Yep.”

“He just waltzes in one day and suddenly you’re all best friends,” Taiji said. “You’re giving him too much info on us and you don’t even know who he is or where he’s from. Toshi, I think you should run a check on him.” He lit a cigarette and offered the pack to Toshi.

Toshi shook his head. “Trying to quit.”

“A background check? Give me a break,” said Pata.  “Are we going to run background checks on everybody who walks through that door?”

Heath agreed. “I think he’s harmless.”

Taiji just scowled and took a long drag of his cigarette. “Of course _you_ would, with the way he’s all over you.”

“He’s not—”

“All right, all right,” Toshi interrupted. He sighed and ran both hands through his hair. “Fine. I’ll run a background check on him. Taiji, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Yoshiki about this for now. We don’t need him going ballistic before we know anything.”

Taiji poured himself a glass of bourbon and gritted his teeth, but his silence meant that he had grudgingly agreed to keep his suspicions to himself.

“In the meantime, you still have your friend downstairs,” Toshi reminded him. “Yoshiki wants you to find out where he hid the money and get rid of him ASAP.”

“I’ll get to him eventually,” Taiji said. “I’m just letting him sweat in there for a while.”

“He’s been in there for two days.”

Taiji shrugged. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“ _Today_ ,” Toshi said firmly. He then turned to the others and held out a thin manila folder. “We’ve also received a contract for a quickie. High-profile socialite. Wants her husband’s young mistress taken out.”

Pata took the folder, flipping through the papers inside. “I love a good scandal. What’ll it be?”

“Poison.”

All eyes turned to hide and he smiled with a cold sort of glee.

 

Toshi turned on his heel and left the room. “Make it look like an accident, Pink Spider.”

 

* * *

 

The Underneath was abuzz a few nights later when Sugizo slid into his usual barstool. Heath quickly handed him a Scotch and went to help Toshi serve some other customers. “What’s the gossip?” he asked.

“You been living under a rock today?” Pata said from the other end of the bar. “There was a carbon monoxide leak in an apartment block in Nihonbashi last night. It’s all over the news.”

“I had a late night and ended up sleeping most of the day,” Sugizo said, looking abashed. “Was everyone okay?”

“The local fire department managed to evacuate everyone except this up and coming singer who was living on the top floor where the leak was. She was pretty much dead when they got there. They weren’t able to resuscitate her.”

“Yikes.” Sugizo grimaced.

“They say that carbon monoxide is a very peaceful way to go,” hide said, walking up to them with a long parcel in his arms, wrapped in white tissue paper. “It’s supposed to be like going into a deep sleep and never waking up.”

He filled a glass vase with water, put on a pair of gloves and opened the parcel. It was full of pink and white flowers.

“Those are really pretty,” Sugizo said. He watched hide pick up each stem with great care, arranging them in the vase.

“Thanks. I grew them myself.”

Sugizo leaned over to sniff one of the tubular flowers but hide put an arm out to stop him.

“I wouldn’t,” he said, smiling very slightly. “They’re foxgloves.”

“Foxgloves?”

“Ever heard of digitalis?”

“Just from that one episode of _The X-Files_ ,” Sugizo said. He brought out his book and began sketching the vase of flowers.

“You know, I noticed that you’ve got a fair few drawings of Heath in there,” hide said, rolling up the tissue paper and taking off his gloves.

Sugizo just kept sketching and said nothing.

“You got a thing for him?”

A shrug.

hide clambered onto the bar counter and lifted the vase onto a higher shelf, out of reach. “He’s available, you know.”

“Really?”

“Hard to believe, isn’t it? Pretty young thing like him. I think it’s because he can be a bit shy.” hide turned and looked down at Sugizo with an amused expression. “Just not around you.” Still looking at Sugizo, he nodded at the approaching Heath before quickly climbing down. Heath hated it when anyone stood on the counter.

“What are you two gossiping about?” Heath asked as hide went to dispose of the tissue paper.

“Just these flowers,” Sugizo said. “Is it true that they’re poisonous?”

“Yes. You’d be surprised at how many flowers and plants are toxic.” Heath looked up at the tall stalks with their nodding flowerheads. “It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? How something beautiful can be deadly.”

Sugizo rested his chin on his hand. “And how deadly are you?” he asked casually.

Heath glanced at Sugizo sideways. “You’re a smooth talker, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. Am I?”

Heath just smiled and walked away.

 

* * *

 

Sugizo spent the next few nights playing at small local venues with Lunacy. They were late nights and while he enjoyed playing with the band, he didn’t have the energy to go to the bar afterwards and just went straight home.

 

After their final night playing in Meguro, the band shared a few beers and congratulated each other on a great performance. Sugizo smiled as he watched them go their separate ways. They were a good bunch of guys - talented musicians and genuinely nice people.

He pulled on his coat and scarf, and hoisted his guitar case.

 

“I thought I told you to tell me when you’re playing.”

Sugizo stopped short and looked around, quickly spotting a tall figure with long hair in the shadows, leaning against a black and white motorbike.

“Not working tonight?” Sugizo asked.

“I took the night off.” Heath fell into step with him as he walked the few blocks to his car. “We hadn’t seen you at the bar for a few days so I figured you might be playing with the band.”

“What did you think?”

“I really enjoyed it. It seems like you’ve all got great stage chemistry with each other.”

Sugizo nodded.

Heath lit a cigarette and took a drag, blowing the smoke out into the chilly air. “What was that second-last song you played? I quite liked that one.”

“That’s a new one,” Sugizo smiled. “It’s called _Moon_. I composed it, actually.”

“Did you write the lyrics, too?”

“Partly.”

“It’s very mournful. Beautiful, but quite mournful.”

 

They walked in silence for a few minutes.

 

“Soooo…” Sugizo said. “Would you be interested in taking another night off work one of these days?”

Heath smiled to himself. “Is the band playing again, or are you asking me out?”

“A little bird told me that you might be… available,” Sugizo said vaguely.

“Who was that? hide?” Heath chuckled. “He just can’t keep his mouth shut sometimes.”

Sugizo stopped beside his car and fished his keys out of the pocket of his coat. “Well. What do you say?”

“How about Friday?”

“That sounds perfect.”


	3. Pink Spider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised on May 13

“Finally had the guts to ask Heath out, eh?”

“I did,” Sugizo said without looking up from his sketchbook.

“Where are you going tonight?” hide asked cheekily. “There’s a nice little coffee house a couple of blocks away that’s open late.”

“Leave him alone, hide,” Heath said, and hide and Sugizo both grinned.

 

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of chair legs screeching across the wooden floor and raised voices from one of the tables.

 

hide rested his elbows on the bar counter and said, “Here we go.”

 

One of the bar patrons, a burly drunk man, was about to grab another man by the collar of his shirt while his frightened girlfriend stood to one side. Sugizo watched with interest as Taiji immediately rose from his seat and put a hand on the big guy’s shoulder.

“You don’t want to start anything, my friend,” Taiji said.

“Why don’t you fuck off,” the drunk sneered, slapping Taiji’s arm away and giving him a shove.

Taiji stood his ground. “Second warning.”

The guy threw a sloppy punch; Taiji caught it easily and threw him off balance before reaching up to grab him in a choke hold.

“I think you’ve had enough, don’t you?” Taiji said lightly.

“Fuck you—” the man croaked, trying to pry Taiji’s arms away from his neck. Taiji only tightened his grip and in a matter of seconds the man was slumped in Taiji’s arms, out cold. hide went to help Taiji drag him outside while the rest of the patrons watched in fascination. The other man and his girlfriend hurriedly paid for their drinks and also left.

 

“That’s the first time I’ve seen anyone start shit in here,” Sugizo said.

“We don’t have this kind of trouble very often at all, but when it happens, Taiji’s there,” an unfamiliar voice said. “He’s very good at what he does.”

Sugizo turned around to see the pianist, Yoshiki. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Sugizo.” He bowed politely and extended a hand.

Yoshiki smiled faintly and did not move to shake the proffered hand. “I know.” His voice was very light and soft, and his expression was unreadable behind his dark glasses. “I hear you are taking my Heath out tonight. Please take good care of him.”

“I will.”

 

During the short walk to the coffee shop, they talked about music and movies, and Sugizo was very much enjoying Heath’s company. In this casual setting he seemed less guarded and Sugizo began to notice a lot of little things about him that he hadn’t noticed before; the way that Heath listened intently when being spoken to, always giving you his full attention; the way that his long hair framed those high cheekbones; the way that his pretty eyes lit up when he smiled.

 

“How did you come to work at a bar like The Underneath, anyway?” Sugizo asked.

Heath sipped delicately at his hot coffee. “Through hide, actually. I met him at a gig in Osaka and we became friends. Then when I moved to Tokyo a few years later and was looking for a job, hide told me about The Underneath. It’s been more than ten years, now.”

“Ten years.” Sugizo was impressed. “You must really love your job.”

“I do enjoy it, but it’s the people you work with that really make a difference.”

Sugizo nodded. “hide, Pata and Toshi are great. So is Yoshiki your boss?”

“In a way,” Heath said, tilting his head a little. “He owns the bar, but Toshi’s the real manager.”

“Does Yoshiki ever do anything besides play the piano?” Sugizo asked.

“Not really. You know, eccentric rich guy buys a bar, hires staff and lets them do their thing.”

“Hmm,” Sugizo looked thoughtful. “I’d love to be able to meet him properly. He seems really… I don’t know... interesting.”

“Maybe you should have asked him out instead of me,” Heath said teasingly.

Sugizo looked at him over the rim of his coffee cup. “No, I don’t think so.”

Heath responded to this with a shy, flirtatious smile that made Sugizo’s heart flip.

 

At the end of the night, when the coffee shop was closing, Sugizo scrambled for a way to keep the night from ending.

“Listen, uh,” he said a little awkwardly. “Can I drive you home?”

Heath shook his head politely. “I’ll be fine. My motorbike’s just parked at the bar anyway.”

“But my car is right here,” Sugizo said quickly. “Your bike will still be there tomorrow.”

Heath accepted the offer graciously. They continued talking and joking and it was during this twenty-minute drive that Sugizo was forced to admit something to himself: he was falling in love with Heath.

 

When they reached his street, Heath moved to get out of the car when Sugizo spoke. “Heath.”

Heath looked at him questioningly.

“I’m… I’m going out of town for a few days. But I’d really like to see you again.”

“You see me nearly every night,” Heath said, amused.

Sugizo looked a little embarrassed. “I meant when you’re not at work.”

Heath smiled warmly at him. “Sure. That would be nice.” He reached for the car door again and this time Sugizo touched his hand very lightly, tentatively.

“Yes, Sugizo?”

Sugizo started to say something but just ended up looking away. “Nothing.”

Heath sat back in his seat and looked at him. “It’s obviously not nothing.”

Sugizo was silent for a long time. His hands felt nervous and fidgety so he placed them both on the steering wheel to keep them still.

 

After a while Heath reached out and turned up the volume on the radio. It was playing a song by KISS.

 

_Just a few more hours_

_And I'll be right home to you_

_I think I hear them calling_

_Oh Beth what can I do…_

 

“I love this song,” he said.

“Heath, I think you should go,” Sugizo said quietly.

“Why?”

Sugizo took in a shaky breath. “Because if you don’t… I’m going to do this.” And he lightly brushed Heath’s hair aside and kissed him.

 

They ended up in Heath’s bed and Sugizo knew it was wrong, but at that very moment nothing could stop him. Heath had a beautiful body that Sugizo just couldn’t get enough of; he loved spoiling Heath with languid kisses, pulling at his long hair to kiss the pale, delicate throat, lightly drawing his fingers down Heath’s lean body. In turn, everything that Heath did, every touch, every kiss, every sweet murmur set Sugizo’s senses alight.

Heath seemed to know exactly how to arouse the utmost pleasure in him, and Sugizo felt the occasional wave of guilt at how good Heath made him feel. Each time the guilt was easily cast aside by the way that Heath touched him. Sometimes he could be rough and almost aggressive, but he was never inconsiderate; the few times that he thought he might have hurt Sugizo, Heath would ease off and softly ask, “Are you okay?” and Sugizo would always say _yes_ and kiss him, not wanting him to stop.

At other times Heath was achingly, teasingly gentle and Sugizo found himself begging for more. They kissed deeply, fingers intertwined or tangled in the sheets, not caring how much noise they made. As Sugizo drew his lips along Heath’s fine collarbone, he hated himself for letting himself make this mistake. At the same time he desperately wanted more, loving the feel of Heath’s skin on his own, the smell of him, the taste of him, the way Heath made him feel so weak and helpless. It felt like an addiction: the more he had, the more he needed. He tried to tell himself that Heath was just a means to an end but he knew that was a pathetic lie.

 

They eventually drifted into an exhausted but blissful sleep in each other’s arms.

 

After a few hours, Sugizo awoke and held Heath while he slept, idly stroking his back; Heath stirred ever so slightly, moving closer to him.

 

Sugizo tenderly kissed Heath’s shoulder and slipped out of bed without waking him. He quickly got dressed, left Heath’s apartment, got into his car and started driving.


	4. Eagle Sniper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 was revised on May 13. If you haven't read the new version, please read it before reading Chapter 4.

Taiji leaned over and peered over Toshi’s shoulder at the laptop screen. “Well?”

Toshi sighed. “He looks clean to me. A few misdemeanours… vandalism, public intoxication, number of minor assault charges relating to said public intoxication… but he’s been clean for years.” He turned to Heath. “Where did he say he was from?”

“Kanagawa.”

“Kanagawa…” Toshi’s brow furrowed a little as he skimmed through the data again. “Look, this is quick and dirty but Sugizo checks out.”

“That means fuck all,” Taiji snapped. “What the fuck is Yoshiki paying you for?”

Toshi glared at him. “Yoshiki pays me to keep assholes like _you_ in line.”

“His employer could have easily fixed his record.” Taiji pointed at hide. “It’s not like he’s got ‘Ex-hairdresser turned contract killer specialising in poisons’ on his résumé.”

“It does on the version that Yoshiki has,” hide said brightly and Heath laughed.

“Taiji, you’re the one who asked for this background check in the first place,” Pata reminded him.

The man in the cowboy hat folded his arms across his chest. “I want someone to tail him.”

Toshi raised an eyebrow sceptically. “And exactly who might you suggest we get to do that? He knows what we all look like.”

“Maybe we can us that to our advantage,” Taiji said, shooting Heath a scathing look. “Heath’s been getting pretty cosy with him. Haven’t you?”

Heath was not easily intimidated and raised his head slightly, looking down at Taiji’s glare coolly and calmly. “He said he’s out of town for a few days.”

Taiji scoffed. “That’s convenient.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you here for a progress report?”

 

Sugizo looked warily at the beautiful woman standing beside Gackt. She caught his eye and smiled politely with a slight incline of her head. He disliked the way she smiled with her lips but not her eyes. With her perfectly curled hair, long, full lashes and extravagant, high-collared dresses, she looked more like a doll than an actual human.

 

Sugizo cleared his throat. “I’d rather talk about this in private.”

“Mana has been working for me longer than you have. If you can say it to me, you can say it in front of her.” Gackt reached up to play with Mana’s curls and she lowered her eyes modestly. “Besides, she’s mute. Who is she going to tell?”

“All the same—”

Gackt interrupted him impatiently. “Just get to the point. Please.”

Sugizo pursed his lips. “I need to be reassigned.”

“Not a chance.”

“Why? Surely you have someone else you can switch in.” Sugizo glared at Mana.

Gackt followed his gaze. “Absolutely not. Mana’s my right hand.”

“Well, what about Yu~ki, Kami or Közi?”

“Sugizo,” Gackt heaved a long-suffering sigh, affecting an air of fatherly disappointment. “You’ve always been _very_ capable. I was _very_ upset when you said you wanted to leave me. Six years, just like that. Can’t you do this _one_ small job for me?”

“You’ve ordered a hit on a very powerful and wealthy man,” Sugizo said shortly. “It’s not a small job. I can’t do this. If I have to pay the money back to you to break my contract, that’s fine, but—”

“Does it look like I need the money?” Gackt asked with a patronising smile. “I want Yoshiki dead. He’s had it coming for too long.”

Even now Gackt still found himself waking up in a cold sweat every so often. Time had not diluted the torture he had suffered; the nightmares were as vivid as they had ever been. They had been a team, he’d thought, the perfect pair of assassins, up until Yoshiki had left him for dead after one slip-up.

“I’ve waited twenty years for this,” Gackt went on.

“Exactly,” Sugizo said testily. “So you can wait a little longer. Get someone else.”

“No. _You’ve_ started this and _you_ need to finish it,” Gackt said through gritted teeth. “If you want break your contract and be a free man with a clean record, you need to finish this job for me.”

“So now you’re blackmailing me?”

“Call it what you like. We’re all part of a system here and even contract killers have a certain set of rules we have to follow. I’d work faster if I were you.” Gackt reached down and lifted Mana’s skirts just above the knee to show the muzzle of the gun strapped to her pale thigh. “Otherwise you’ll be begging me to kill you.”

 

* * *

 

“How is everything with the bar?” Yoshiki asked.

Toshi fetched the fine Italian coat from its peg and helped Yoshiki into it. “Everything’s fine.”

“Anything unusual been happening?”

“Apart from that guy that Taiji dragged outside the other night, everyone’s been well-behaved.”

Yoshiki carefully wound a long, silk scarf around his neck. “Are you sure?”

Toshi looked at Yoshiki uncertainly. “Of course.”

Yoshiki motioned for Toshi to follow him, and together they made their way to the rear exit of the building. Toshi walked on ahead and opened the heavy door in time to see a sleek black Rolls-Royce pull up at the end of the narrow alley. The car glistened with droplets of rain.

The two of them slowly walked in silence and Toshi opened the car door for him. Yoshiki slid across the back seat. “Come for a ride with me.”

Toshi got into the car next to Yoshiki and shut the car door, looking confused. The car rolled smoothly out onto the street.

“Is something the matter?” Toshi asked.

“Someone’s been watching me.”

Toshi stiffened. “What… just now?”

“Not just now, but there was someone there as I was leaving two nights ago, and they were there again tonight when I arrived.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fairly certain.” Yoshiki smiled faintly. “I’m not new to this, Toshi.”

Toshi was quiet for a few moments. “I’ll have Taiji and Heath keep a look out.” He looked out the window at the street lights and the scattering of locals and tourists on the streets of Ginza. “You want this person dead or alive?”

“I think… alive.” Yoshiki sounded very casual about this, as though someone had asked how he would like his steak cooked. “I’d be interested to find out who it is this time.”

 

* * *

 

The next night, Yoshiki followed his usual routine when he left The Underneath. The black Rolls-Royce pulled up and Yoshiki stepped out into the alley alone. The moon was just a thin sliver in the cloudy night sky.

A dark shape slipped out of the shadows and started towards him. Yoshiki continued on his way to the car with almost a deliberate calmness. The intruder was clearly well-trained; Yoshiki could barely hear a sound behind him, not even when the would-be assailant suddenly ducked as a knife whistled through the air.

 

Once Yoshiki had gotten into the car, his driver locked the doors and glanced back at him. “Everything all right?”

“Hold on a moment.” Yoshiki watched through the tinted windows.

 

Clad entirely in black with a black bandana obscuring his face, Heath drew up his hood as the masked intruder spun around to face him, grappling his arm as he went in for another slash.

_He’s fast_ , Heath thought. The masked man intercepted and deflected several of his attacks, whilst skilfully striking back at the same time. Heath, too, was quick in avoiding the open-handed strikes and jabs aimed at his throat, but he caught a couple of very fast successive blows to the ribs. They weren’t hard enough to really hurt; the strikes were clearly calculated to overwhelm, to throw him off balance and disarm him.

Heath watched his opponent’s every move and began to piece a very vague pattern together. The other man cleverly avoided striking head-on, instead keeping himself slightly off to one side for more blindside strikes.

They parted for a brief moment, staring each other down and they resumed in a fast flurry of attacks and dodges. Heath drew first blood with a shallow cut to the back of his opponent’s hand. The man retreated a little; recognising that Heath needed to get really close, he circled around him, keeping himself just beyond arm’s reach.

 

Having decided that he had seen enough, Yoshiki patted the back of the driver’s seat. “All right. Let’s go.”

 

The two opponents were beginning to breathe a little harder, and a kind of desperation settled over them. Heath became more aggressive and more reckless, taking several direct strikes. He went in for a low slash; his opponent responded with a sharp stop kick to his wrist and the knife arced into the air. Heath caught it with ease and drove it down forcefully; the other man barely managed to sidestep this, resulting in a glancing slash across the forearm. At the same time, the masked man landed an open-handed thrust directly to Heath’s shoulder, following through with a very hard elbow strike. Heath took a couple of staggering steps back and his opponent used this opportunity escape, scaling the crumbling brick wall at the other end of the alley with almost feline agility and vaulting over to the other side.

 

Heath rubbed his shoulder and swore. He leaned heavily against the door, catching his breath, and then banged on it a few times. After a minute or so, Pata opened the door and ushered him inside.

“What happened?” he asked.

Heath pulled the bandana away. “I fucked up,” he said grimly. “Asshole got away.”


	5. Foolish Bandit

Heath was at The Underneath early to open up when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

 

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Heath looked over his shoulder and greeted Sugizo with a curt smile. The keys jangled in his hand when he slid one into the lock. Out of habit, he used his shoulder to push the door open and winced a little.

Sugizo followed him inside. “Something wrong?” he asked, noticing Heath’s sullen silence.

“It’s nothing.” Heath carefully slipped out of his long coat and draped it over the back of a chair.

“Heath…”

“I’ve just had a bad day, okay?”

“Heath I’m… I’m sorry I left like that the other night.” Sugizo said quietly.

Heath shook his head slightly. “It’s not that.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes_.” Heath snapped, and then looked ashamed. “Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

Heath gave a long sigh and rested his elbows on the bar counter. After a few moments he forced a smile. “How was your trip?”

“It was okay.” Sugizo shrugged. “Just some family drama. You know how it is. You think it’s going to take a couple of days and it ends up taking a whole week.”

“Crazy family?”

“The craziest.”

Heath managed to crack a real smile this time. “Sounds like you need a drink for that.”

“You don’t need to wait on me all the time, you know,” Sugizo said as Heath rounded the bar.

“I’m a bartender. I can’t help it.” He returned with the Scotch, Drambuie and two glasses. As he poured, Sugizo noticed that he was favouring his right shoulder a little.

“You okay there?” he asked.

“It’s just sore,” Heath said. “I hurt my shoulder lifting something badly.” He offered Sugizo one of the drinks and his gaze lingered on his hand. “What happened to you?”

“What, this?” Sugizo looked down at the bandage on his hand and laughed. “Stupid kitchen accident. Trust me, if you ever drop a knife, don’t be a hero - just let it fall.”

“I see,” Heath said softly, smiling.

 

Heath kept his grip on the glass when Sugizo’s hand closed around it, and in the second that their eyes met, they both knew.

 

The glass tumbled to the floor, rolling in a lazy arc and coming to rest against the leg of a barstool.

 

Sugizo had one hand locked firmly about Heath’s throat, while Heath held his other wrist tightly in one hand. In Heath’s left hand was a butterfly knife, glinting delicately in the warm light of the bar, the blade digging into the soft skin of Sugizo’s neck.

“Beautiful _and_ dangerous.” Sugizo gave a rueful smile. “So you’re the bastard.”

“I’m a contract killer, Sugizo. And apparently, so are you.”

“I guess you didn’t need that advice about knives after all,” Sugizo said lightly.

Heath just smirked at this.

“Are you just as good with that knife in your left hand as you were with your right?”

“You know how good I am with my hands,” Heath purred. “You got me into a lot of trouble with Yoshiki, you know.”

“He was meant to be alone. I didn’t want anyone else to get involved.”

“You’re good but you got careless. Or desperate. You should have known that someone like Yoshiki isn’t an easy target.”

Sugizo’s hand tightened around Heath’s throat when he felt the steel cutting into his own. “Are you really going to kill me here?” he asked softly.

“No,” Heath said. “Because Yoshiki wanted you alive.”

 

They heard voices and neither of them moved when hide, Pata and Taiji entered the room.

hide sat down at one of the barstools, munching from a bag of crisps, and Pata let out a low whistle. “Wow. Lovers’ tiff.”

hide grinned.

 

Taiji approached them with an easy smile and he placed a hand very carefully over Heath’s.

“It’s fine. Ease up, kid… ease up...” he said in a soothing voice and nodded when Heath relaxed his hand. “Very good… that’s right…”

The knife slowly came away. There was a thin red line where it had bitten into Sugizo’s neck.

“You too,” Taiji said to Sugizo in that same voice, gently prying his fingers away from Heath’s throat. “That’s right… there you go…”

 

Once Sugizo had fully released his grip, Heath let go of his wrist and stepped away. He sat atop one of the tables with one foot on a chair, twirling the butterfly knife in his hand. His eyes never left Sugizo’s.

 

Taiji held both of his hands up. “We can work this out this like grown-ups, can’t we?”

“Unlikely,” Sugizo said warily, looking between Heath and Taiji. He recoiled a little when Taiji reached a hand out toward him, but Taiji just patted his head patronisingly.

“You’re acting like you don’t trust me,” he laughed.

“I don’t—” Sugizo started to say, and Taiji hit him hard across the face.

 

* * *

 

Sugizo’s head was throbbing heavily. One side of his face ached and there was an odd feeling in his mouth. He reached up to touch his lip but his hands refused to move, so he ran his tongue across his lip instead. It tasted of blood and felt tender and swollen. He tried to move his hands again and as his mind slowly cleared, he realised that he was firmly tied to a chair.

Presently he heard the sound of approaching footsteps and then a door opening, and quickly raised his head to see who it was. He regretted it immediately; the throbbing pain in his head flared and he squeezed his eyes shut, wincing.

“Oh, you’re awake,” somebody said pleasantly.

Sugizo cracked an eye open and lifted his head much more slowly this time. Heath had his back to him and was doing something at a small table that stood against the wall.

“What…” Sugizo tried to croak out. He heard the crackle of foil and plastic.

“Here, take these,” Heath said. He had two white pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

Despite the pain, Sugizo instinctively jerked his head away.

Heath sighed impatiently. “If we were going to poison you, you’d be talking to hide right now and he wouldn’t be using any fucking pills. They’re painkillers. Codeine.”

Sugizo looked at him warily but allowed Heath to feed him the pills one by one, washing it down with water and trying not to gag at the bitterness.

 

Heath pulled up a second chair and to Sugizo’s astonishment, he pressed a cold, wet towel against his face and lips. It felt good, but Sugizo was very confused. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning you up,” Heath said simply. “I’m sorry about what Taiji did to your face. You’ll have some pretty awesome bruising, but…” here he paused and, with the lightest touch, tilted Sugizo’s head toward the light, “...it looks like your lip’s stopped bleeding, at least.”

The towel came away stained with dark blood. Heath folded it neatly, placing it back on the table, and produced one of the knives from his back pocket. “I always preferred the name _butterfly knife_ to _balisong_ ,” he mused. “I like the combination of something that’s pretty and delicate, and something that’s… well… not.” He looked Sugizo straight in the eye and flicked the knife open with sickening ease. Sugizo flinched but Heath just used it to cut the ropes that bound him.

“Wh— why are you…?”

Ignoring him, Heath unwound the bandages on Sugizo’s hand and forearm, and carefully cleaned up both cuts with isopropyl alcohol.

“They’re not deep,” Heath said. “They’ll heal cleanly.”

Sugizo watched as he re-dressed the cuts, baffled at this display of unexpectedly gentle treatment. “Where am I?”

“You’re three storeys below The Underneath. This is where Taiji does most of his work.”

“Then why are you here instead of him?”

“I asked to be here.” Heath’s lips twitched into a smile. “Normally it would be Taiji, but you’re my mess to deal with.”

“Are _you_ going to torture me, then?” Sugizo asked.

Heath gave him a look of mild disappointment. “Is that what you think of me?”

“I don’t know what I think of you.”

 

Heath sat back in his own chair and crossed his legs, watching Sugizo with an inscrutable expression. After a couple of minutes of this staring contest, Sugizo asked, “What are you going to do with me?”

“Yoshiki wants to know who you’re working for.”

No answer.

“If you don’t tell me, you’ll have to tell Taiji.” Heath offered him a gel ice pack. “I’d hate to see him hurt you again, to be honest.”

Sugizo pressed the ice pack against his bruised face. “Why do you care?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care, Sugizo. Just because I watch people choke on their own blood for a living, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a heart.” Heath leaned forward and kissed his broken lip ever so gently and even a little teasingly. It felt nice and made his heart lurch in his chest, but guilt and shame made Sugizo pull away.

“Well,” Heath stood up and turned to leave. “I know it’s pretty uncomfortable in here, but try to rest up. I’ll come back in a couple of hours. I hope you feel better then.”

 

Sugizo heard the locks sliding into place and retreating footsteps, and sighed. Gingerly, he touched his lip. It felt very sore and raw.

He slowly got up and poured himself another glass of water. As he drank, he looked around his prison with his good eye. It was a square box of polished concrete, harshly lit by a single fluorescent tube. There were small ventilation ducts high up on the walls near the ceiling, and a long, narrow grate in the floor by the back wall—probably for when they needed to hose blood off the floor, he thought morbidly—but that was it. Not that he even entertained the idea of being able to escape.

Sugizo leaned into a corner and eased himself down, folding his arms across his knees and resting his head. The painkillers were starting to take effect; his stiff, tired shoulders felt warm and loose, the jackhammer in his skull was easing off, and he was becoming drowsy. He closed his eyes and waited.


	6. Deuce

The next time Sugizo opened his eyes, Heath was sitting on the floor against the opposite wall.

“I thought I’d bring you that drink you missed out on,” he said.

Sugizo looked down. There was a Rusty Nail on the floor next to him. He picked it up and carefully took a sip, avoiding his broken lip.

“Feeling any better?” Heath asked.

Sugizo nodded. “A little.” He slowly stretched out his stiff legs and grimaced.

Heath looked at Sugizo for a long time. “You’re an incredible actor, you know. You had most of us fooled.”

“Not all of it was acting,” Sugizo said. He studied Heath’s face for any hint of hurt or anger, but if there was any, Heath wasn’t going to let it show. “You like your knives, don’t you? Is that something all Amagasaki boys learn?”

“There’s an art to knives. A kind of beauty in its simplicity.” Heath held a butterfly knife in each hand. “I don’t like guns. They’re just too… I don’t know, too final.”

Sugizo nodded.

“Which school of martial arts you? I thought it was Wing Chun but it’s different.”

“Jeet Kune Do.”

“You’re beautifully skilled. Fighting you was almost as good as fucking you.” Heath smirked a little. “Can I ask why you came back?”

Sugizo finished his drink. “I came to see you.”

“Very funny,” Heath said. “Fine. You going to tell me who you’re working for, then?”

“No more sweet talk?”

“Let’s not pretend that we’re here for any other reason, Sugizo.” A small smile played at the corner of Heath’s lips for a brief moment; Sugizo could have sworn that it was the same flirtatious smile he’d seen at the coffee house, but it was gone before he could get a second look.

 

Sugizo said nothing for a long time and eventually Heath got to his feet and headed for the door.

 

“It’s Gackt.”

Heath’s hand hovered just above the doorknob. “What?”

“Camui Gackt,” Sugizo said again.

 

Heath looked back at him, still sitting on the floor, head bowed, shoulders hunched, defeated.

“I figured it out in the end.” Sugizo forced a bitter laugh.

“Figured what out?”

“This was meant to be my final job. I actually thought that Gackt would going to let me go after this.” He looked at Heath steadily. “But I’ve figured it out. I wasn’t meant to make it out of this alive.”

 

* * *

 

“Nice hat,” Pata said dryly when hide walked in the next afternoon.

“You like?” hide did a little twirl, showing off his new faux leopardskin cowboy hat.

Pata shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I think I wear this better than Taiji,” the pink-haired man said. He looked alarmed when he heard muffled, raised voices. “Where is everybody?”

Pata tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette. “Toshi, Taiji and Heath are out the back with Yoshiki.”

“What for?”

“I think Heath got Sugizo to talk.” Pata shrugged again and leaned over to look past hide. “Why don’t you ask them?”

hide turned and saw the three of them emerging from the back. He approached them with a big smile and both arms raised. “Check out my new hat!” He dropped his arms when he saw that Toshi and Taiji both looked very agitated. “What happened?”

“You need to learn to keep your fucking mouth shut, Taiji.” Toshi snatched the cigarette out of Pata’s hand and took a long, deep drag.

“Hey!”

Toshi ignored him and exhaled a plume of smoke. “Sugizo said he was working for Gackt.”

hide and Pata exchanged a glance.

“But… Gackt’s dead,” Pata said. “After he botched that job in Okinawa. Didn’t he get shot to pieces or something?”

hide snorted. “ _‘Botched’_ is a polite way to put it.”

“Apparently he made it out alive. Makes you wonder what happened.” said Toshi. He stared while Heath played with one of his knives. “Can you not do that? It freaks me out.”

“Relax,” said Heath. “I haven’t cut myself doing this since I was seventeen.”

“I’m not afraid of you accidentally cutting yourself,” Toshi said tersely. “I’m afraid of you accidentally cutting _me_.”

Pata shook his head and lit a fresh cigarette for himself. “So what did Yoshiki have to say about all this?”

“He didn’t seem all that surprised,” Toshi said. His hand trembled briefly when he took another puff, but he looked a lot more relaxed now. “Not that that means much. Nothing ever seems to faze him.”

“Why don’t you tell them what else he said?” Taiji growled.

Toshi looked at him wearily. “Yoshiki said he could use someone with Sugizo’s skillset and _somebody_ lost his temper.”

“There’s nobody I respect more than Yoshiki, but this is fucking idiotic.” Taiji jabbed a finger in the air emphatically.

“It’s no crazier than when he brought you in off the streets and out of the Yakuza’s hands,” hide reminded him. “Come on. When has he ever taken a wrong step?”

“What if Sugizo refuses?” Pata asked.

Toshi snuffed the cigarette out. “We deliver him back to Gackt or worst case scenario, kill him.”

“Yes, going straight into the snake pit is a _great_ idea,” Taiji said derisively. “What happens when Sugizo turns on us?”

“Afraid you can’t take him?” hide smirked.

“Sugizo did say that he wanted to leave Gackt,” Heath said quietly.

Toshi nodded. “If he’s already unhappy with working for Gackt, that makes it easier to turn him.”

Taiji just crossed his arms across his chest defensively and looked away.

“That doesn’t mean that he’ll take the offer, though,” Pata said. He patted Heath on the back. “I wouldn’t get too attached to him, if I were you.”

“I’m not,” Heath said, folding up his knife. “He doesn’t mean anything to me.”

 

* * *

 

On his second day in his concrete prison, hide paid Sugizo a brief visit.

 

“Geez,” he said, seeing the dirty look that Sugizo gave him. “I know you’d rather see Heath, but there’s no need for the death glare. I liked you, remember?” He sat down cross-legged beside Sugizo and studied his face. “Wow. You look horrible.”

“Thank you,” Sugizo said sarcastically.

“If it makes you feel better, Taiji had to ice his hand for hours after he hit you.”

Sugizo found hide’s good humour incredibly irritating. “What are you here for?”

“I’m not here to kill you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ve got good news for you.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Aw, come on. Don’t be like that.” hide produced a small vial, and a new, sealed syringe and needle. “You’re being upgraded.”

Sugizo watched with growing concern as hide swabbed his arm and drew a tiny amount liquid from the vial into the syringe with great care. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Trust me,” hide said with a smile. “You’re going to wake up feeling like a million bucks.”

 

Sugizo did feel like a million bucks - for a short while. He dreamt that he was at home, in his own bed, warm and comfortable. His entire body felt rested; he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed. Then he rolled over onto his other side and it felt like being punched in the face again.

 

“Ah— I wish you hadn’t done that.” Long hair brushed against his face as Heath eased him up into a sitting position.

Sugizo groaned and held his head in his hands. “Where am I now?”

“Yoshiki’s place.” Heath handed him a fresh ice pack. The bruises on his face had bloomed into all sorts of blues and purples.

Sugizo looked about the room and scoffed in disbelief. “I don’t understand what’s going on. You’ve caught me. So why haven’t you killed me? Why are you keeping me here?”

“Yoshiki had been watching that night, and he said he was really impressed with your skill,” Heath said, almost as if Sugizo hadn’t spoken.

“I appreciate the compliment—”

“He’s offering you a job.”

Sugizo stared, open-mouthed. “Yoshiki is…?”

Heath nodded.

“I don’t believe you. I was trying to _kill_ Yoshiki.”

“What if I told you that Taiji is absolutely furious at this offer? Would you believe me then?”

Sugizo was still stunned. “Heath, I used you.”

Heath just shrugged. “I have no problem with a casual fuck.” He said this so easily that Sugizo felt like someone had reached into his chest and crushed his heart.

 

“So?” Heath prompted him.

“I’m not looking for a new job,” Sugizo said. “I’m looking for a new _life_.”

“Yoshiki’s serious about the offer, and he’s only interested in the best of the best,” Heath said. “Why else would we be taking such good care of you?”

“Contract killers are contract killers. What makes Yoshiki any better than Gackt?” Sugizo closed his eyes briefly and sighed. “Heath, if you can’t let me go, then you can take me back to Gackt or you can kill me here. I’m prepared to die either way.”

Heath gave him a long look. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “You aren’t.”

 

* * *

 

Sugizo was allowed to stay locked up in this elegant, modern apartment until his injuries had healed. He had everything except any means of communicating with the outside world and he preferred it that way. It was peaceful and even though he was effectively a prisoner, in an odd way he felt safe here.

 

His meals were delivered three times a day, always by the same two women: beautiful, blonde and always impeccably dressed. He privately nicknamed them Alex and Julia. At the same times every day he’d hear the door being unlocked; they would set a few dishes on the table by the door and clear away the old ones, then leave without so much as a glance in his direction, locking the door behind them.

 

Heath would visit him very occasionally to check on how he was healing, but little else. hide came in once and also tried to convince him to accept Yoshiki’s offer. Sugizo just made vague, noncommittal noises until hide got bored and went away. He half expected them to send Taiji in to beat him into submission but that never happened.

 

Since Heath gave no indication of any lingering feelings for him, Sugizo thought it best to follow his lead and pretend that nothing had happened between them. It was better that way, he told himself. Why should it matter, anyway? He’d had—and used—more lovers than he cared to remember. He should have expected to be on the receiving end eventually.

 

Some two weeks later the bruises on his face had almost faded completely and Toshi came in to see him. Sugizo was sitting at the little table by the window, pen in hand, hovering over a blank sheet of paper.

“How’s the quitting going?” Sugizo asked.

Toshi gave a little self-deprecating laugh. “Okay, I guess. It’s hard, especially when the rest of them are still smoking, but everybody says it gradually gets easier.” He sat down across from Sugizo and gave him a friendly smile. “It’s nice that you’re still drawing.”

“I don’t have much else to do,” Sugizo said. “You got some news for me?”

There was a small sigh. “Since you won’t accept Yoshiki’s offer, we’re going to take you back to Gackt.”

Sugizo nodded slowly. “When?”

“Tonight.”

Sugizo nodded again.

“The offer is still on the table,” Toshi said gently. “But once you leave the building and are back with Gackt, all bets are off.”

 

“I understand.”


	7. Synchronicity

“Watch his head, _watch his head_!” hide clutched at his hat frantically. “Fuck! His face has only just gone back to normal! Are you trying to crack his fucking head open again?”

 

Taiji grunted as he shoved a deeply sedated Sugizo into the back seat of Yoshiki’s car and tried to arrange him into a sitting position. “What difference does it make? I’d be doing him a favour. Gackt’s going to kill him anyway, and he’s not going to do it nicely.”

While hide and Taiji carried on yelling at each other, Heath rubbed his temples and reached for the driver’s side door.

“Oi,” Taiji shouted and then “Ow!” when he smacked his head on the car’s ceiling. “Who said you could drive?”

Heath raised an eyebrow at him. “No offense, Taiji, but if I were a cop and I saw someone like _you_ driving a fucking Rolls, I’d pull you over in a heartbeat.”

hide burst into hysterical laughter while Taiji just scowled.

 

* * *

 

“Hey. Wake up.” Taiji reached over and gave Sugizo a light push in the shoulder. “We’re here.”

 

Sugizo was looking down at his knees. He was very much aware that they had arrived at Gackt’s mansion. He’d woken up some thirty-odd minutes after they had set out and spent the next hour dreading what was left of his life. Heath had been right, of course. He didn’t want to die yet.

He opened the car door and paused. “Heath, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For… everything.”

Heath looked at him coolly through the rear view mirror. Taiji grumbled impatiently and muttered something about _fucking stupid_ under his breath.

Outside, they watched Sugizo punch in the security code and followed him through the property and inside the building where two of Gackt’s men were waiting for them.

“Yu~ki, Kami.” Sugizo nodded at them curtly.

They were instructed to wait in the front room. Heath took a seat in one of the plush velvet wing chairs, crossing his legs and carefully surveying the room and the two men. Taiji lit himself a cigarette and wandered about, picking up a trinket here and there, seemingly delighted with Gackt’s terrible taste in decorating.

 

“Please don’t touch that.”

 

A man with very short, pale blond hair entered the room with long, confident strides. To his left was a man in red; to his right, a woman in a black floor-length dress.

 

Taiji put the ceramic bird back, hooked his thumbs into the belt of his jeans and grinned. “You must be the lovely Gackt. We’ve heard all about you.”

Gackt just looked at him up and down, bemused. “And you are?”

Taiji took a leisurely drag of his cigarette. “Yoshiki sent us.”

“Oh. Well. How is the old fellow?” Gackt said pleasantly.

“Still alive, and a damn sight better than you are,” Taiji said. Heath shot him a look, annoyed with how abrasive he was being.

Gackt didn’t seem too bothered. “I see you’ve brought the prodigal son back to me.”

Sugizo glared.

Taiji shrugged. “He’s your problem, not ours.”

“ _I_ don’t want him,” Gackt said as though someone had offered him a glass of cheap wine. “He couldn’t even finish a simple job.”

“But it wasn’t a simple job,” Heath said quietly.

“Did you not think that Yoshiki would keep a few good men about him?” Taiji said. “I’m sure Sugizo’s very good, but there was no way one person would be able to get through all of us and still be able to get to Yoshiki.”

Gackt looked mildly surprised. “Well, what if I took out two of his best right here and now?”

Mana, Közi, Kami and Yu~ki all drew their firearms in unison. Heath slowly stood up, palming a knife in each hand, and Taiji put his hands on his hips. “Is that any way to treat your guests?” he drawled.

Gackt smiled with grim satisfaction. Yoshiki’s men looked more than competent but they were only two, and Sugizo would die no matter whose side he was on.

“Look, we just came here to return Sugizo to you,” Taiji said. “So let’s just leave well enough alone, okay? You stay out of our way and we’ll stay out of yours.”

“Do you know that he left me there, bleeding out?” Gackt said coldly.

“Yes, and—”

“Do you know how they tortured me?”

“I can imag—”

“I don’t even know how long they kept me there for.” Here Gackt laughed harshly. “And how long I believed that Yoshiki would come back for me.”

Taiji cleared his throat impatiently. “That’s very nice, but—”

“This is the least that Yoshiki des…” Gackt turned his head. “Mana, darling. What in god’s name are you doing?”

 

Hearing this, everybody trained their eyes on the beautiful, silent woman who was always by his side.

Mana’s perfect lips parted slightly. “I’ve been waiting a very long time for this. Yoshiki sends his regards.” Mana’s voice was very soft but too deep to be a woman’s voice, and the look of surprise was frozen on Gackt’s face when the bullet exploded through the base of his skull. His body crumpled unceremoniously on the fine French carpet and a trickle of blood leaked from his mouth.

 

Taiji was the first to move. He tackled Yu~ki and his gun went flying, skittering across the floor and coming to rest just under one of the velvet chairs. Közi raised his gun to fire a shot in his direction and then suddenly pressed his free hand to his face with an agonised scream. Blood leaked between his fingers from a long knife wound just below his eye.

In the confusion, everybody seemed to have forgotten about Sugizo. He slowly backed himself up against a wall. There was no point in getting involved. He did not want to fight Taiji or Heath, not after all that the crew from The Underneath had done for him, but he had no quarrel against the others either.

Out of the corner of his eye, Taiji spotted Sugizo edging toward the door. “Heath!” he yelled, grunting as Yu~ki landed a glancing blow to his face.

Heath whipped around and saw Sugizo, but Közi reached around and locked an arm around Heath’s neck, grabbing his wrist. Blood still wept from the cut on his face. Közi forced Heath to drop his second butterfly knife and then pressed a gun to his head. His hands dug into Közi’s arm, desperately trying to force the gun away, and his glance swept across the room. Taiji had his hands full with Yu~ki and Kami circling him. Mana was nowhere to be seen. Közi’s arm tightened around his neck, choking him hard and his vision started to blur. Their arms trembled from the effort as the gun inched away from his head and _oh god it went off_. Tiny bits of plaster and dust rained down from the ceiling where the bullet had lodged itself.

Abruptly, Heath dropped to one knee and pulled a slender bowie knife from his boot, blindly driving it deep into Közi’s thigh and ripping it out again. Közi cried out in pain and staggered back, bleeding freely; the arm around Heath’s neck loosened and he fell onto his hands and knees, coughing and gasping for air, ears ringing from the gunshot.

Taiji grabbed Kami and drove him hard into a set of shelves, sending him crashing into a mess of broken wood and glass and blood.

“Heath! _Get him!_ ” Taiji screamed.

Still on his knees, Heath’s hand closed around the grip of Közi’s gun and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear his vision.

 

Another gunshot erupted and Sugizo felt white hot pain explode in his shoulder, sending him reeling back against the wall. They locked eyes for one very long second and Heath watched as Sugizo disappeared into the night.

 

* * *

 

Taiji was uncharacteristically quiet during the drive back to The Underneath. While Heath drove, Taiji sat in the passenger seat, cleaning and polishing Heath’s knives meticulously with an expensive-looking hand towel he’d stolen from Gackt’s bathroom.

 

After a while, Heath said, “Well? Aren’t you going to gloat?”

“Gloat?”

“Because Sugizo got away from me again.”

“Do you think I’m stupid or something?” Taiji squinted at the blade in his hand, trying to catch the light to see if it was clean. “I’ve seen you with a gun. If you were going to kill Sugizo, you would have put that bullet through his head.”

Heath drove on in silence for a while and then said, “Are you going to tell Yoshiki?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. Seems like you’ve always had it in for me.”

Taiji sighed. “I don’t hate you, Heath.”

“Really?” Heath sounded sceptical.

“You know,” Taiji said. “When Yoshiki brought you on board, I thought, this kid’s good but he’s too soft. And you are.”

“Sometimes a little kindness isn’t such a bad thing,” Heath said. “You don’t need to be such a hard-ass all the time.”

“Yeah, well. When you’ve been through the shit that I have, you’re bound to be a bit—”

“Twitchy?”

Taiji paused. “I was going to say ‘cynical,’ but point taken.” He smiled wryly and rubbed his jaw where Yu~ki had hit him. “Look, you can tell Yoshiki what you like. Either way, I expect he’s going to rip you a new one.”

Heath nodded. “I can deal with it.”

 

They were quiet for a while, just listening to the radio, and then Taiji said, “So what did you think of that Mana, eh?”

“I have no idea,” Heath said. “Who was she? He?”

“I think she was a dude.”

“One of Yoshiki’s old contacts? Playing the long con?”

“Hell if I know,” Taiji shrugged. “I’ve never seen or heard of her—him—whatever—in my life.”

“If sh… he’s working with Yoshiki, then we’re on the same side. Why didn’t Mana stick around?” Heath wondered out loud.

Taiji grinned. “Maybe they were scared of us. Hell, I would be.” He carefully turned the bowie knife around in his hands. “I bet you could get a really close shave with these things.”

Heath pursed his lips. “Please don’t.”

“I’m _kidding_. I know they’re your babies.” Taiji dug around in his leather jacket for a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out for himself and then offering a second one to Heath.

“Thanks,” Heath said as Taiji lit it for him. He opened the car’s windows and the thin trails of smoke danced in crisp night air.

 

“This is a gorgeous car, isn’t it?” Taiji said, running his hands along the fine leather seats. “It’s not really my style but it’s fucking _nice_.”

“You can do a lot with the kind of money Yoshiki has,” Heath said.

“Hey, kid.” Taiji gave him a little punch in the shoulder. “Let’s take her for a bit of a ride before we go back.”

Heath glanced at his passenger. “Taiji. I’m only a couple of years younger than you.”

“Doesn’t matter,” said the man in the cowboy hat. “You’ll always be a kid. C’mon, what do you say? Let’s have a bit of fun with the Rolls before we take her back to daddy.”

Heath took another glance at him. Taiji’s smile was genuine, and Heath smiled back. “You’re on.”


	8. Evening Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I like to listen to Luna Sea's LOVE SONG.

 

Heath took a deep breath of the warm air of late summer. He enjoyed the ride home after work, especially at this time of the year. The roads were quiet this late at night so it was just him and his motorbike, and he was able to enjoy the ride in relative peace. After dealing with customers all night at The Underneath, it was nice not to have to see or speak to anyone for a while. Sure, he was good at what he did, but it was still tiring.

He took the stairs two at a time and then he stopped abruptly. His fingers brushed against the folded knife in his pocket.

 

“You cut your hair. I liked it better when it was long.”

 

Heath relaxed a little. “Taiji might actually kill you if he knew you were here.”

“Heh. Why do you think I came here instead of going to the bar?” Sugizo stepped out from the shadows and smiled tentatively at Heath. “How is everything?”

“Fine. Everything’s fine.” Heath leaned against the balcony railing. “Toshi hasn’t managed to quit smoking yet, but he’s trying. Taiji… Taiji and I have been getting along a lot better these days. hide got himself a new hat. Big, black, pointy one like a witch. He loves that stupid thing to death and won’t let anyone touch it.” Here he chuckled. “One time Pata kidnapped it and held it for ransom. hide went nuclear.”

Sugizo stood by the railing next to him, looking out into the sleeping city. “I meant, how is everything with you?” he asked gently.

“I’m fine,” Heath said vaguely, shrugging. “Where have you been this whole time?” His tone was light, like he was speaking with an old friend.

“Laying low,” Sugizo said. “I spent the first month or so moving around Kansai and then I went to Hong Kong.”

“What made you come back?”

Sugizo shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I’ve um… come to take you up on Yoshiki’s offer. If it’s still open, I mean.”

Heath looked over his shoulder at him. “I thought you wanted to get out.”

 

They stood together in silence for a little while, listening to the dull roar of traffic in the distance and the occasional rustle of leaves and branches in the warm breeze. They were alone here, almost as if they were the only two people under a velvet galaxy. In a way, Sugizo thought, standing here within arms’ reach of Heath, seeing him for the first time in several months and feeling that same ache in his heart, was more difficult than being far away in a different city or a different country. At least when he was in Hong Kong he could tell himself that he was starting anew.

 

Finally, he said, “I’m just so… tired. I’m tired of running away. I’m tired of not knowing where I belong. I don’t know what I’m doing with myself. So…”

Heath nodded understandingly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.” Sugizo looked down, feeling awkward. “So uh… can I come and see you at The Underneath and talk to Yoshiki?”

“Of course.”

“Great. Perfect. Thanks.” Not knowing what else to say, Sugizo turned to leave. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

“Where are you staying?” Heath asked.

“I’ll find something. Maybe I’ll see if one of the guys from Lunacy will still speak to me.”

“Why don’t you stay with me?”

 

Sugizo stopped and looked back at him. Heath hadn’t moved, still resting his elbows on the railing, hands loosely clasped, looking out into the night. He started humming a soft tune; Sugizo recognised it as the chorus of _Moon_.

 

“I saw Lunacy play a few months ago,” Heath said. “I spoke with them after the gig. They were pretty upset that you disappeared on them. Except… what’s the singer’s name?”

“...Ryuichi.”

“That’s right. He was really worried. He seems to care about you a lot.”

 

Sugizo couldn’t tell if there was an undertone of jealousy in Heath’s voice or if he just wanted him to be jealous, to show _something_.

 

“Heath,” he said, trying to keep his voice from trembling. “That night at Gackt’s… did you let me go?”

Heath offered him a gentle, almost sad smile. “You already know the answer to that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“But… why?” Sugizo started to say and then Heath was kissing him, one hand caressing the side of his face, the other hand at his back, pressing him close, kissing him with the sweetest longing that left him stunned and breathless.

 

Sugizo was torn. As they kissed, part of him said that he needed this, while another part of him wanted to pull away and leave.

 

_I can’t do this again._

_Yes, you can._

_No…_

_This is exactly what you wanted._

_But we’re just repeating the same mistake._

_It’s not the same._

_It is. We’ll end up hurting each other again._

_But this time it’s different._

 

Finally Sugizo pushed him away. “Heath, no. I can’t… I can’t figure you out.”

Heath looked hurt. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what any of this means to you. If it means anything.” Sugizo said haltingly. “I can’t tell if you’re playing with me or if it’s all in my head or…” He stopped when Heath brushed his fingers along his lips and gave him another lingering kiss.

“What do you think that means?” Heath asked very softly.

“I… I don’t know.” Sugizo felt lightheaded. “You might have to do it again, just to be sure.”

This time the kiss was deep and sensual, the same intoxicating kiss Sugizo had tried so hard to forget. He ran his hands down Heath’s body, following the gentle curve down to the small of his back, making Heath purr with delight.

“I’ve missed you,” Sugizo whimpered.

“I missed you, too,” Heath murmured between kisses. “I was hoping you would come back.”

 

Sugizo felt the sting of disappointment when Heath pulled away from him, already missing the comfortable familiarity of him in his arms.

Heath gently took his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Come on. Let’s get you inside. Tomorrow night I’ll take you to see Yoshiki. But you’ll always belong with me.”


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who has read and enjoyed this! It was hard work but I really had a lot of fun writing it.

 

Taiji greeted him with a perfunctory nod when he walked through the door of The Underneath, guitar case in hand. Sugizo knew that this was the warmest welcome he’d be getting from the man, and it had taken over a year to get to this point, but he was grateful for it. At the very least, it meant that Taiji had grudgingly accepted him, and it was better than a fist to the face.

 

He patted hide on the shoulder. “Hey. What are you doing?”

“My hellebores have come into bloom.” hide looked like a proud parent as he held one up to show him.

“I love the colour.” Sugizo examined the small flower that hide held, cupped in the palm of his hand. It was a velvety black with deep purple undertones. “Are these ones poisonous as well?”

“Yep.”

“Is there anything in your garden that _won’t_ kill you?”

hide thought about this for a moment. “Roses?”

Sugizo sighed.

“I thought you liked beautiful things that can kill you,” hide smirked.

As hide said this, Sugizo felt a hand brushing lightly across the back of his neck. He turned and caught Heath’s eye as he sauntered past. Heath gave him one of those coy smiles that were reserved only for him, and Sugizo never grew tired of seeing it.

 

Sugizo stashed his guitar and coat in the back room, rolled up his sleeves and joined Heath at the sink.

“How was the gig?” Heath asked.

“It went really well. I love these small livehouses.” Sugizo took the clean glass from him and dried it thoroughly. “I wish you could have been there.”

“Me too,” Heath said. He handed him another clean glass and smiled slyly. “That Ryuichi had better be keeping his hands off you.”

“Jealous?” Sugizo teased.

“You’re mine and I’m not about to share you. He can get his own.” Heath gave his hand a little squeeze, and Sugizo squeezed back.

 

“What can I get for you?” hide greeted a new customer with his most charming smile.

The man was sharply dressed in a long black trench coat and he wore a severe expression, but when he spoke, his voice was calm and polite. “Whisky, please.”

hide cast an expert bartender’s eye over the man and reached their finest 15-year old whisky.

“Macallan,” the man said with an appreciative nod. “Very good.”

hide watched the man down his drink quickly. “Tough day?”

“You could say that,” the man said. “I actually came here to see someone.”

“Meeting an old friend?”

“Hopefully, yes.” He gave hide a level look. “I was hoping to speak with Yoshiki.”

“Yoshiki isn’t available right now,” hide said smoothly. “Is there something I can pass onto him?”

The man nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind.” He produced a large yellow envelope from his leather portfolio and slid it across the counter. “Please give this to Yoshiki. It’s urgent. Tell him it’s from Sakurai.”

 

 


End file.
